Who am I?
by Heichen
Summary: It's story about the hard way, you need to go to get your life back. The story is only at the beginning yet . Would be nice to hear what people are thinking about it , before writing more.
1. Chapter 1

**John Doe – The unanswered questions of my life - or who am I?**

**Epilog**

**Slowly the last rays of sun disappear. The first fog is rising from the grass in front of the house. A man is sitting on the veranda and reads a book. Now the upcoming darkness forces him to close it. He takes off his glasses. His clothes are not the right size and look very old. First gray streaks enforce his hair. The thick black beard hides his adolescent face, in fact almost completely. At the first glance you might think he is nothing but an old, ugly and lonely man. Only his eyes, unfathomable and shimmering like the Caribbean Sea, can guess the smart young man he is. **

**He loves when autumn sends his first signs across the country. Somehow this season fits to his feelings best. **

**With all his thoughts he is far away in history. "Six years! That's all I have" he is thinking " Happy Birthday John ". **

**Six years now, without knowing anything about his past. When he woke up in hospital 6 years ago, no one could tell him who he was before they brought him to the hospital. He touches the scars on his body. The doctor told him that he was found with severe burns to the chest at the entrance of the hospital. Unfortunately they found a brain tumor too and he needed surgery in order to live. The doctor noticed he had one done before, because during the surgery they found another scars. That's all he knows about himself. After one year searching for a sign that would help him to remember, he decided to leave LA. He felt like a stranger there. One of the new friends, he found while searching for his past gave him this small cabin in the wood to live in. **

**He shivers a bit. "Time to go inside " he is thinking. The Sun just disappears behind the mountains on the other site of the lake. Only the red and orange shimmering clouds are left on the beautiful sunny day it was today. The usually blue- green friendly looking lake is now lying there black and menacing, perfectly matching to the feelings he is in at the moment. He takes a deep breath. The silence of the untouched nature around is floating into him. He tries to keep this feeling just for a moment. He tries to put all the desperation out of his mind. Sure he learned to deal with his situation over the years, but one question is never gone and when he goes back into the house, seeing his face at the glass of the window it is black. He stands there, not able to move. Fixing the face he can see there and yell in his mind. **

" **Who am I ???"**

Chapter 1

**Naked, like nature made him, John steps out of the lake. It is early morning. Dewdrops are all around on the grass and the trees. First sunlight let them shimmering like little pearls. The lake looks like steaming with the clouds of fog allover it. It is cold this morning. John's shivering a bit. His body is well shaped, only the scars on his breast telling about the pain he was into, not long time ago. One of them looks like a dark red heart. It's positioned directly on the place where his broken heart beating inside. So it looks like he put his heart outside. John is used to go for swimming every morning, as long as lake isn't covered with ice. The endless silence around him in the open water, seems to take all the tortures from the nightmares he had all night away from him. He takes his towel and drys his body a bit. Than he wraps it around his hips and goes back to the house. **

**Coffeemaker has already done his work and a delicious smell of fresh coffee welcomes him. Fast he steps into the small bathroom and finish to dry his body. He put on shorts and a dark green shirt. John looks like someone on vacation now. When he look into the mirror he strokes his beard, " I need to shave I guess " he says to himself. **

**Then he goes back into the only room this house has. The bed into the corner looks messy. The pillows are lying beside of it. The sheet isn't on the right place either. Looking at this reminds him on the nightmare tortured him last night and made him awake this early in the morning. He was used to have those dreams over the years, but last night it was so real. The face of the woman always asking him for help in his dream, was clear like never before. She pointed her hands in his direction. Tears were in her eyes and he can still hear her saying. **

" **Please don't leave me. I love you so much. Please Michael come back.**

" **MICHAEL !!!! " His until this moment sad and lonely looking eyes seems to change into the brightest ones on earth.**

" **Yes, Michael !" he says very loud ," She called me Michael. I am Michael ! I have a name ! " **

**He runs in direction to his PC, the only window to the real world he has . He is as nervous as a single person can be. He almost falls over his yesterday carelessly on the floor thrown clothes. I need to clean this up, he is thinking while avoiding to hit the ground at the last moment. The chair in front of the small desk is like fixed at the bottom, when he moves too fast tries pull him backwards. Finally he makes it; To sit down and type in the web –address. It seems to him like it takes hours before the search for people site open, he is used to search for signs about his past. **

"**Micael ", "mihel", "mchael". He hits the table with his fist . " Calm down " he says to him self. " Just concentrate ". Very slowly now he types in:**

"**Michael – Missing -Explosion . " **

**He hesitates for few seconds before hitting " ENTER". His eyes are closed. When he finally do it.**

"**Don't be to excited, there will be nothing. Lower your hopes." he says in his mind. Almost 5 minutes was passed, he is just sitting in front of the screen and doesn't have the courage to look at it. He isn't sure if he can deal with another disappointment, another no search results message. **

" **OK ! It will change nothing if the list is empty !" he says loud and serious. He lows his head a bit. Slowly, very slowly he opens his eyes. His long, thick eyelashes passing his eyes like a curtain that slowly opens. He still looks down at the bottom. Still afraid there will be nothing again. He needs to tell himself to focus. Finally he lifts his head and there are a long list of results. Nervously he starts to check them. **

"**Michael X died in an car-accident, when the car exploded …**

"**Firefighter Michael Y is missing in action after the big explosion of Fuel tanks in Florida…"**

"**Michael J suffered heavy injuries when he tries to avoid …. " **

**and so on …**

**Nothing of this yet ring the bell. He is close to give it up. **

" **No matter" he tells himself " At least I have a name now!" **

"**Please MICHAEL come back!" he hears the woman saying again. Her face always makes him feel like home, no matter how bad the dreams he had were. He knows he loved her and she had to love him too. **

" **Some day I'll find you! I promise! " He says to the picture that is stored in his mind forever. **

**The smell of the fresh coffee reminds him that he was on his way to have breakfast. So he decides to close the site for now. He clicks the " x ". All he needs to do is lift his finger from the mouse-button and the darkness of his lost memories will be shown on a black screen too. His eyes gliding for a last sight down the list and there it is …..**

Miami Herold 

" **Michael Scofield , famous for saving his brother's life by breaking him out of Fox river state penitentiary, didn't survive his Final Break! "**

*** * ***


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Why the name in this headline sounds so familiar to him . Michael Scofield – Fox river… It's the first time since he awake 6 years ago something sounds familiar with him. For minutes now he sits there staring at the dark screen. The words circle in his head. He is wondering if it's really possible to remember something happened in his past.**

**Doubting his own feelings he says " Maybe it's just because it was the last thing I read!"**

**He is not sure if it's a good idea to restart the PC and have a look at the article. So the noise the coffeemaker made when a bit steam comes out of it is a good excuse to decide having breakfast first. **

**He stands up and looks for a cup. Somehow he can't find a clean one. So he annoyed takes the next best from the table near by. He hold it at his nose . "Smells like coffee's good" he is thinking . He doesn't takes the time to clean it, just fill the fresh coffee in. Thinking " Coffee is hot, no matter. "**

**While waiting for his toast gets ready he looks around in the room. The clothes from yesterday still lying on the bottom. A single left shoes, missing the right one, lying dirty directly in front of the entry . Not to mention the messy bed and the table full of dishes who needs to be cleaned. His desk is surrounded by 6 stacks of newspapers. One for every year he was John. All kinds of books are stored nearly everywhere in the room with no system . Hemmingway meets Steven King beside his bed , as well as Phillip Roth's " The human stain" sharing a board with "A midsummer Night's dream" by Shakespeare.**

**Directly in front of him , among some more used clothes lying the book he is reading at the moment . He like the atmosphere in this book very much. It's " Wide Saragossa Sea " by Jane Eyre. He wonder how long it will take to find the page where he stopped this time, because he always forget to but a bookmarker in, to makes it easier to find . But Michael mostly find it fast, he only need to close his eyes and the picture of the site with all details is back in his mind. "37" shows up in his mind . He grabs the book and a smile comes in his face when he opens it and see the page fits exactly with the one he remembers. While throwing the book back Michael shaking his head about himself . "I really need to clean up." He is thinking.**

**The only place that looks like a different universe is the corner where he does his work. There everything seems to be on the right place. This place is a bit like being a part of his unknown past. " I always liked it clean and tidy" he is thinking , when his sight falls on this place and recognizing this is a new memory makes him shiver a bit . He never thought about this but his work is a part of his past too.**

**Michael works for the owner of this house as structural engineer . Back there in LA , he worked for a deliver service to earn some money, not knowing what was his profession when he left the hospital. While doing this he came to an architecture office one day . All the people were discussing about the project they were working on for days now, without finding an solution for a major static problem and the customer an eccentric millionaire was getting impatient about the delay. So no one recognized him . He looked around in the office and when his sight fell on the blueprints he knew in second what was wrong. Wondering why no one see this solution he was like in trance took a pencil from the desk beside him and went to correct it.**

**Max , the boss and owner of the house was the first one who recognized Michael drawing lines on the blueprints and wanted to stop him immediately. He was just on with yell something like " Are you crazy? Get your hands off….!" When he recognized this deliver-boy solve the problem in a perfect straight way, non of his employees ever would be able to do . So he got interested in his story and offers him a job .**

"**In that moment, I remembered that I love to do this work" Michael is thinking . " It's not my first memory! There must be something left from my past deep down in my mind and something must have turned the key to let it out." **

**He is thinking about the time when he worked for Max in LA . He never became familiar with this big city . He felt like a stranger always questioning if one of the hundreds of people crossing his way all day knew something about him. It became more and more difficult for him to deal with the situation . Max who became more his friend than his boss in a short time one day offers him to live and work here and Michael was very grateful about that . 5 years he is living here now and he still enjoy the silence. He find some kind of inner freedom for his tortured soul here . The silence of this lonely place make him very creative and won some architecture awards over the years always denying to join for the gala he soon got the name " The mystery genius " and that makes him smile whenever he read it . Once a week someone from the firm comes to get Michael's works , which couldn't be sent as mail to LA and bring new projects and the things Michael needs , like food to him…**

**The " bling ",when toast is ready brings Michael back in reality . Fast he takes the toast out of the toaster , balance the hot toasts with putting it from hand to hand to the table and starts too eat it fast after put some honey on it .The whole time he feels like the dark PC- screen look at him like a demon. Michael still afraid to start it, afraid of another disappointment . **

**So after breakfast he starts at first to clean up the house avoiding to look in the direction of the desk. He do it more slowly than necessary and hesitate to put the last cleaned cup on the board a bit . A look in the now properly cleaned room tells him no more excuses. **

**Michael put the rest of the already cold coffee in his cup and goes to start his search. This time he doesn't hesitate anymore. This time he focus on the screen while the site opens. The only short moment of hesitation hits him when the article finally is opened . **

**With taking a deep breath Michael starts reading :**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Miami11.04.05:**

**Today, Michael Scofield , known as the brain of the escape from the "Fox river eight " was killed by an explosion while breaking out his wife Sara Tancredi Scofield, who was under suspect for killing a woman named Christina Hampton. According to Agent Wheatly from Miami state police he died on the way to hospital , because of the major burns he suffered when he manipulate the prison's generator ……………………..**

**From intern sources I heard that Sara T. S. is pregnant. Her successful escape let me expect that the knowledge his " Final break " gives a little " Scofield" the opportunity to be born and live in freedom let rest him in peace. **

**Good bye " Breakout King " Michael Scofield . RIP.**

**Heichen P. exclusive for Miami Herold **

**The picture shown at the end of the article makes pretty clear he is Michael Scofield . **

**It's**** Sara Tancredi Scofield! ****- The woman he saw in his dreams.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**It's late afternoon . Slowly it starts to become dark in the house . Michael didn't recognizes this. The fifth times now he hits the print button. **

" **Come on no strike now. Please !" he tells the printer . It took a while before he recognizes the red light for running out of paper is blinking. Hectically he starts to look for new one . He opens all the drawers of the desk. **

" Damn I need this pictures! " he is thinking . He is close to yell " Paper where are you?"

**Turning around on his search for it he find out there would be no room for new pictures anyway. The wall he normally using to pin on his blueprints is full of pictures and articles around FOX River eight , Lincoln , Sara and Michael Scofield . **

**When he saw Sara's picture this morning he wasn't able to move . He just sat there, staring on the screen for minutes, not knowing what to do . Desperately he bothers his head to remember something . Just one scene, one name , one little piece of remembrance , but there is nothing except for Sara's face and her begging for help. **

" **Why do you need help? What's wrong with me not to remember more than a face ? "**

**He feels more helpless and much more lonely now ." Michael Scofield" is nothing but a name for him. It brought nothing back in his mind. No memories flashing up, how he always hoped they would if he just find out who he is . He is close to give up. Just to tell no one about what he find out and live his life in loneliness far away from the public. He is so sad and desperate in opposite true the feelings he has had awaited. It seems to him the endless darkness which covers his past in a malicious way of no return, will never go away. He feels exhausted and for a short moment he wishes he would never has find out. But he had and this must have happens for a reason, he reminded himself . He needs to confess to himself that he never would be able just to do things like he was used to do the last 6 years .**

"**I need to know who I am , more than ever before !" Michael says loudly.**

**So Michael starts his research . In a short time he found a lot of stuff about the escape, Sara and Michael , the brother he has and so on … He opens site after site and it doesn't takes long and his server crash because of overload. **

**He is so upset , he needs to start his search again now ,when his gaze fall onto the wall with the blueprints . Now he knows what to do. He pulls everything from the wall,**

**except for some drawings he made weeks ago. Then he starts with printing every site he find during the research and pin it on the wall without reading them. **

**Finally he hold the printer paper in his hands and refill the printer . A picture showing him and Linc comes out 5 times. He takes the first one and while doing this the other falls down on the floor. The pages surrounding his feet . Lincoln face look at him from all directions . "Maybe this is a sign that I need to find my Brother first ." Michael is thinking, and his hands start to form a paper bird , the crane. He doesn't think about what he is doing . Careful he lift up the pictures and go to pin one of them on the wall . Hardly he find a place for it . The crane is still in his hand . Somehow he can't just put it away . He hold it in front of his face , Staring at this origami bird like it would be the key to his past, the key to his lost family , the key to his love , his life, his destiny , his future. All the faces he find today circles in his mind . Somehow he feels Sucre touching his shoulder , hear him laugh and cry and being so desperate about his girl. He see T-Bag and can feel the danger coming up from this man and he sees Linc . Brother, friend , one of the most important persons in his life . Slowly like the thoughts circles in his mind he starts to whirl around by himself . The bird looks like flying away any second, **

" **Fly away little bird , start into endless freedom !" he says loud . Linc's eyes are looking at him from one of the wings of the crane and those eyes flashing back the first memory into his mind :**

" **Family obligations !" " Family obligations , this is what it's all about . This is why I did what I did !" **

**He knows now the crane was his brothers sign to let him know he's watching over him, his way to tell him I'm here for you if you need me . His way to say I take care of you. "**

**Carefully he put the bird in his pocket. Somehow he can feel the power of brotherly love and unconditional surrender that's between him and this still unknown man.**

**Slowly he goes along wall, still not reading anything . He just strokes with his fingertips over the prints . It looks a bit like he wants to sucks the information into his brain with doing this. It's already much too dark in the room to read anything . **

**Michael has a look at the clock on the wall and recognizes it's already 8 pm .The noise which comes out of his stomach tells pretty clear he doesn't eat or drink anything the whole day. He needs to confess to himself that he needs a break. **

**Michael just put some ham and eggs into a pan, when a car stops in front of the house. For a moment he wants to turn out the light and just to ignore the person , when it knocks on the door . **

**A female voice says " Hello . Is someone in here ?"The voice sounds gently and a bit scared. **

**Michael still not sure if he can handle company in his situation answers much more impolite and annoyed than he wanted , " What's the matter? " while opening the door. He regret it in the moment when he see the maybe 30 year old ,black haired woman in front of his door which scared steps back . He can hold her back in the last moment from falling down the stairs with pulling her in his arms.**

" **Oh sorry . " he manage to say while giving her free . " I didn't meant to scare you !" His voice sounds dark and somehow magnetic mysteries now. He can't avoid to stare a bit on her . She is well shaped, her skin shimmering a bit like white velvet in the light that falls out from the opened door and the dark red shirt fits perfect to her slightly wild frizzy nearly curly dark –red hair . **

" **It's ok !" she answers while staring on Michael too. First she was scared when this tall ,angry sounding , with this black beard and his disheveled hair scary looking man comes out. But when his voice changes and she look into his so blue greenish so sad looking eyes all concerns are gone. **

" **I didn't wants to bother you . Sorry again, but I must have made a wrong turn somewhere down the hill and can't find the way back now. I saw the light and thought maybe you can show me. My kids are so tired and hungry and this wood scares them and they crying for minutes now and …"**

**Michael interrupts her with putting his finger on her mouth. **

" **Sure I will help you. " and without thinking about the wall he invites her and the kids in the house with saying**

" **Maybe you come in first with your small ones and get something to eat and drink. I was just on my way to prepare dinner for me. " While saying this a biting smoke that comes from the kitchen-corner reminds him on the eggs , With a short "Damn" he turns around an run to the oven . He let the door opened .**

**The woman smiles a bit the fear she felt when this angry man opens the door pass away. She goes back to her car and take her kids out . **

**The scene she can see while stepping into the house makes her laugh a bit . **

**Michael looks like dancing a crazy dance with the hot steaming pan in his hands , not sure what to do. Quickly she goes to him and take it out of his hands . She fill some water in it and put it back to the oven then. The kids stay near the door a bit anxious . **

**The woman turns around to her small ones . Michael still looks a bit confused . His feelings are a bit strange. For the first time he feels relaxed in company of someone after 6 years of isolation. With a warm smile he look at her and the kids. He almost doesn't recognizes the **

" **I am Julie by the way and those are Joshua and Gina my darlings ".**

**With a small gesture she shows her babies to come closer,**

**He just look at the kids recognizing they must be in the age of his kid . **

**Julie look at him a bit confused because it takes some seconds before he responds to her words.**

" **Oh sorry " he says with shaking his head a bit , " I'm John !"**

**The evening runs very normal now . Julie doesn't say a word about the wall she recognized off course . Michael wins the heart of the kids in storm with his dark gently voice and Michael feels somehow relaxed. For the first time he can really enjoy the company of strangers. And the words **

" **Maybe you stay here for tonight" comes out of his mouth before he doesn't even realize it.**

**Now he is sitting on the only armchair in this house and watching the sleep of a mother and her children. His gaze changes from the peaceful picture in his bed with a mum sleeping with her kids close in her arms to the wall that still have something dangerous on it..**

**Julie can't really sleep too. She saw the wall off course and she realized this is the story her friend Heichen reporter of Miami Herold , put a lot of emotions in. She hesitate to ask what John has to do with it course the evening works so well and take a lot of pressure from her . **

**Very quietly Michael leaves his place on the chair after a sleepless night. He was thinking about the kid he must have. He goes to the bathroom and starts to shave his beard. He looks much younger now . He wearing some new clothes on and goes out to prepare breakfast for the kids and Julie before showing her the way back to the street. Slowly he opens the door not to make noise and awake his guests , but Julie is already on her feet and work in the kitchen corner . When she recognize he opens the door she turn around wants to say "Good Morning " but what she says is a surprised :**

" **You are Michael Scofield ….. "**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Michael stays like made of stone. **

"**She knows Michael Scofield . She knows me!" his thoughts overwhelm him. **

**He isn't sure if he should tell her that he doesn't know who he really are, but looking at his wall he realizes that she must feel something is wrong. So he moves some steps in her direction. He look at her with a so sad and at the same time curious gaze, that she feels caught in it. His eyes put her in a prison of emotions. She realizes Michael Scofield is a stranger for himself, badly searching for information about his past. **

**Before the two can start to talk, little Gina interrupts them. Awaked from the loud spoken words of her mum she stepped out of the bed and comes now to them to say a friendly " Good Morning ". Julie bows down to lift up her 5 years old Sweetie while saying " Good Morning Darling!" But Gina has no eyes for her. The little Girl goes straight to Michael and her arms showing him that she wants to get lifted on his arms. With a warm smile he does what the little sunshine recommended. Gina looking very curious at Michaels shaved face. Carefully she touches his cheek. Her eyes showing some kind of enthusiasm, and with a serious sounding voice she says:**

" **Wow Mr. John, you should never again miss to shave!" and gave him a wet, smacking kiss on his cheek.**

**Michael and Julie can't avoid starting to laugh. The tension that was builds when Julie recognizes him, as Michael was gone. Michael kisses the " Princess" how he calls her in his mind, on her cheek too and with saying **

" **OK! I'll follow your order Princess!" he put her back on the ground. **

**The whole scene looks like a family idyll, when they sit on the table having breakfast. The torturing questions, which bothers Michaels mind all days, are gone for a while. He enjoys this rare moment of happiness very much. He takes the chair that let the wall being in his back, not to have to look at it.**

**Gina is talking the whole time, not even stopping when her mouth is filled with a big spoon of flakes, what makes it hard to understand her, about her friends and how exited she is to visit her grandparents and so on. She is the opposite of her 2 years older brother. Joshua is a very quiet, serious child. He is searching for being near Michael. Somehow Michael can feel the sadness that inside the mind of this little boy and tries to give him a bit of the secureness the boy is obviously looking for.**

**Julie is grateful Michael takes care about Joshua a bit. The boy is so sad since his Daddy is gone and with this new look Michael reminds her a lot on him. Her husband Tom was MIA in Iraq 10 month now and Joshua takes it very hard. He missing the male leading person in his life and Michael with his kind, gentle personality gives him a bit of this so much missed feeling of being protected back right now.**

" **Why you just don't go outside playing a bit, while John tells me how we find the way to grandma and grandpa?" ****Julie tells her Kids, when they finished breakfast. Gina is on her way out before she has finished, skipping and running all in one. The **

" **Gina your jacket!" Julie calls after her is like said in the wind. Joshua makes a serious face, takes it and follows his little sister. **

**There is no need for Michael to ask Julie what she knows about him. Alone in the house now, she was going to the wall by her own. Seeing the questions in his eyes she starts to talk:**

" **You are Michael, right and know nothing about your past?" **

**Michael just nods. His eyes fixed her lips, waiting for the words that must come out any second. The words helping him to understand, the words lighten the darkness of his past, but what Julie says is:**

" **I'm so sorry Michael. I have no more information than what you already pined on your wall." **

**Endless sadness is floating back into Michael's face. The brightness of his eyes are showed before is gone. His growing desperation darkens them. Hardly he managed to say:**

" **It's OK! Maybe I should show you the way back now."**

**He tries to smile, but Julie can feel and see it's not what Michael feels right now. She feels so sorry for this nearly unknown man and before she was thinking about it she says:**

" **Maybe I can help you a bit with your research. "**

**And further pointing at the Michael Scofield article from Heichen P.**

"**Heichen is a friend of mine. I'm sure she will send me everything she has about the case; if I tell her I want to write a book about it. The kids will stay now 4 week with their grandparents. So I'm alone at home anyway. I can be back here tomorrow evening if you want."**

**Michael is not sure if he can take this offer, but the deeply wish to find the woman he loves and his child blowing the concerns away. **

" **Would be so kind of you. " He answers with a raspy voice. **

**Michael still stands outside the house looking in direction to the corner where the car disappeared 5 minutes ago. In his hand he holds some small flowers, Gina gave him after asking him, with such a cute smile, to bows down and putting one behind his ear like she has one too. **

" **Good Bye Mr. John, it was nice to meet you!" the Princess says very serious and polite after this and runs to the car where Joshua and Julie already waiting for her. **

**Michael goes back into the house then. Somehow the wall isn't that menacing anymore, with the knowledge Julie will be back to help him. He takes a small glass from the board to put the flowers in. The stems are much to short and some of them just swimming in the glass, but when he puts this on his desk it give him a warm feeling. The loneliness seems to be gone. It seems a bit like the pulsing life Gina brought into this quiet place is still in the air. **

**He is very tiered now, because of not sleeping the whole night. Without take off his clothes Michael lays down on his bed. It doesn't takes long and he felt into an, for the first time after years, restful sleep. **

**Michael awakes when the first rays of morning sun tickling his nose. Looking at the clock he recognizes that he slept nearly 20 hours. In his hand he holds a small Teddy, Gina or Joshua must have forgotten in the bed. A bit childish he starts to speak with the Teddy. **

" **Good Morning my friend! Ready to start research?" he says moving the bear with holding him on both of his arms in front of his face. He let the Teddy nod and answer himself with a disguised voice:**

" **Sure Michael. Let's start to work."**

**While go out of the bed he put the Teddy on his desk beside the flowers and smiles about himself..**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter**** 5 **

Michael needs to step out of the house for a moment. It's a beautiful day and the autumn sun with her still warm rays stroking his skin. Looking at the lake Michael remembers he wasn't swimming the last 2 days. The shimmering blue water lying there like a mirror that reflects the small white clouds looks tempting.

Michael was just thinking about to take his clothes off and enjoy the sparkling refreshment, when the phone rings.

" Hey, genius!" a familiar voice says when Michael picks it up. "Where is my progress mail? You know how eccentric this guy is. "

"Damn! The glasshouse- project!" Michael is thinking.

" Hello Max! " he manage to say " Sorry, I was … Ehm .. .!" he is searching for words looking at the careless into the corner thrown blueprints of this project he normally likes so much.

In his mind the construction he made shows up clearly. The customer wants a house fully made from glass and Michael loved the idea. He made a construction using glass in different colours, mixed in a way that makes the structure of the rooms shown very well at one side and gives the viewer also the feeling to be free from trapping walls.

" Hey John what's wrong?" Max-worried voice awakes Michael from his daydream.

" Ehm… Max. I'm sorry I haven't finished it yet. " Michael answers thinking if he should tell Max what he finds out the last 2 days.

" John you know how this guy terrorises me if I can't show him something, what's the matter with you? " Max says a bit more worried now.

" It's time to tell him the truth!" Michael decides in his mind.

" Max! I know it's just!" Michael searching for the right words, " It's just, I find out who I am!"

Max doesn't say anything for about 2 minutes. Michael can picture the surprised face of Max in his mind.

" That's great John, or what ever your name is, how. !" Max says after a while.

" No matter! I'm on my way to you. I need to know everything! Maybe I can help you!" and before Michael can answer he hang up.

" This isn't necessary, I already got help!"

Michael says, thinking about Julie, to the peep, peep sounds the phone makes.

* * *

Max is sitting in his office.

The " I find out who I am!" Michael says to him still sounds in his ears.

"Should he makes the requested call?" hammers in his mind.

He likes Michael very much. Yes Michael! Max knows for 5 years now.

One day this somehow strange guy came in, asking a lot of questions about the work of John. Max liked the mystery around John, mostly his story not knowing who he is and all the stuff he added to the story pays very well. But this guy seems to know more. Max could see it in his face. He knew when his story was only a fairytale.

The guy was leaving that day without order anything, just for coming back 2 days later putting a bag on the table. He told Max to open it and Max could see it was full of money.

" Those are 500,000 $, it's yours for a simple favour!" the man said.

Max should have know better, but the business runs slow at this time and …

Yeah and … He made the deal.

The man gave him a phone-number, telling him.

" Your mysterious friend is Michael Scofield, legendary dead breakout king. You can read the whole story online if you want. It's better for him not to remember about his past, but if he does I need to know. We found him with an image search and his enemies can find him at this way too. So all you need to do for this money is let him disappear and call me if he remembers. 500,000 $ more are waiting for you then. "

Without any other word the man was out of his office.

He had no idea how he should manage to let Michael disappear, until the day he found that cabin in the woods. Michael was so grateful when he offered him to live there and Max hoped so much that Michael will never remember.

Slowly he turns the card with the number in his hands.

The phone is right in front of him. It looks like a 500,000 $ offer right in front of him now. His hand reaches for the phone. 500,000$ beats like a drum in his mind, 500,000$, 500,000$ ….

He starts to dial 0193475 … three more numbers are missing when he put the phone back.

" No, this feels wrong!" he says loud. Friendship can't be bought with money, is in his mind.

" I need to talk with him. " Quickly he prints out the photo the security camera made from that strange man and leaving the office in direction to Michael.

* * *

Michael has no choice. Max will be here in around 3 hours and Julie, he has no idea what tomorrow evening means. A short look at the clock tells him it's almost 10 am.

The silence will be over, when this guy arrives! This is for sure. But maybe he can send him back home before Julie arrives. He doesn't know why this seems so important to him.

Michael looks around in the room.

The model he build for the glasshouse stands on the small table in his working corner. Michael takes it to the big table and look at it. Two days ago this was the most important thing for him.

Slowly he strokes with his fingertips over the clear structures.

He build the model with glass too. Sunlight mirrors in it and let the whole thing somehow shining like a big diamont. Maybe this will be enough to send Max back home. Thinking about the money he will earn when the client is satisfied will make Max think about nothing else.

Michael starts searching for the blueprints and easily fined them into the corner of his working space. He carries them to the table and put them beside of the model.

"Ready. This should be enough to distract Max!" he is just thinking while moving the model a bit in direction to the sunlight, to makes it more glisten, when his gaze fall on the wall.

He knows immediately that he needs to hide this before Max arrives . A bit like crazy he run around the house looking for all those draws and blueprints he ever made to pin them over the research stuff he found.

There are a lot of those stored here. While pin them on Michael remembers on a lot of details from every project and it take a while before he finish with this. Of course every article and every photo that disappear behind those blueprints is a bit like losing it again. Deep in his soul it hurts him to hide his past again.

The last blueprint, which he pin on the wall covers one of his draws a bit .

He doesn't know why but this draws are somehow important to him. A few months ago he was sitting outside and started to draw the first one, more randomly while thinking about the first draft of a project. All the draws show a devil fighting with an angel, the picture from the tattoo Michael had on his body in Foxriver.

The figures are always faceless and the devil won, except for the last one he recognizes now. There, the angel is the winner and he has Michaels face. The face of the devil looks familiar too, but he can't remember.

Speechless he staring at the draw and it took a while before he can focus on his hiding project .

" What is this all about?" the thoughts circle in his mind.

He can't concentrate on anything . So when his sight fall on the lake he remembers his plan for swimming , Max's call stopped him to do before.

Looking at the clock again tells him it will take at least 1 hour before Max can be here.

He steps out of the veranda again , The sun is on her highest point and it feels like a warm summer day. The lake looks so invitingly. Michael decides to enjoy the freedom for a last time and knowing this will helps him to calm down and bring his thoughts in line he doesn't takes the time to go for getting a towel. He undress himself on the veranda and run the 20 meters to the lake.

The cold water run a shiver through his body, but soon he doesn't feel cold anymore. He feels free and strong . Ready for all tasks , ready to pull down all obstacles on his way to himself.

Swimming and diving he doesn't hear the car coming. I

After maybe half an hour he steps out of the lake. Turn around and looking to the mountains across the lake lifting his arms and cross his fingers behind his head, he looks like a Greek statue. He wants to let the sun dry the water droplets that running down his body like little pearls. He shakes his head lightly to get water off his hairs. A rain of glistening drops is sparkle around his head while doing so.

Michael simply looks beautiful.

A pair of eyes watching this scene without being able to speak on this very early afternoon….


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

„Why the hell I didn't go back to Martha , Jim and my kids?" Julie bothers her head .

Two hours ago, when the phone call came, that the delivery from Heichen is available in the post- office down the hill in this , small beautiful town near by , she decided to say good bye now and drive directly from there to Michael.

Her kids are in such a happy mood with their grandparents, that there was no need to stay any longer. Watching Joshua on dock fishing with his grandfather , exited looking at the water waiting for the big fish and Gina cuddling with her grandmother much more quiet than usually,while listening to the fairytale she read for her, let her feel relaxed. Her kids are in the best hands she can think of and doesn't needs her at the moment was her feeling.

But there is one person that needs her help and she feels somehow like can't let him wait any longer. So she goes to Martha,Toms mother and her loved former mother in law and tells her that she needs to leave now.

Martha was a bit surprised , course it was close to lunchtime and normally Julie would stay for this, but she doesn't asks . After saying good bye to everyone , Julie went to the post-office and get the stuff about Michael Scofield. Those are three big packages and she needed the help from the employee there to get them in her car.

The whole way to Michael's house she was thinking about his sad story and the loneliness that has darkens his eyes, when she with her kids arrived there the day before yesterday. Somehow her heart beats a bit faster thinking about Michael and so she drove very slow up the hill to the house .

Coming around the corner seeing Michael , stepping out of the lake naked and obviously without a towel or something to wear on let her hit the break and stop the engine immediately .

"Damn, how embarrassed he will feel seeing her." she is thinking .

Julie wished she and her car would be invisible now. But on the other side he looks so damn good , standing there, his wet body shimmering in the sunlight. Julie sighs a bit .

She is just supposed to let her car role back a bit to be hidden behind a bush , when she hears another car is coming up the hill .

Michael recognizes the sound of the car , at the same moment as Julie. Fast he turns around moving in direction to the house . Now he has a perfect angle to see Julies car , but he is looking down and it feels like a miracle for Julie that he doesn't see her .

Standing there in the sun was such a great feeling for Michael. It was a bit like the rays of the sun tender stroking his skin , while they dry up the water drops from him. He felt somehow free and ready for everything that will come.

He was in some kind of daydream when the sound of the closer coming car awakes him. A daydream about his kid , his son . Deep in his heart he knows he must have a son and his wife . Sara Scofield ! Sara ! Sara? . Somehow he still feel this strange distance to her . Sure her picture was always in his dreams. But the feeling there is nothing more than a picture hurts him much.

" I need to find her , find a solution , find my past , get my feelings back. !" he is thinking while grabbing his clothes and step inside of the house to get dressed before Max arrives.

A last sight at the wall , makes him feel comfortable . Nothing is to see from his investigations .

He nods a bit , sure that it will work.

He doesn't takes the time to dry his body , therefore it is a bit difficult to wear on his jeans which doesn't slid well along his still slightly wet skin. He skip a bit to put himself in a bit faster course the sound of the car is very close now and before he manage to wearing on his shirt the car stops in front of the house.

" No matter!"Michael is thinking and opens the frontdoor , holding the shirt only in his hands .

" Hey Max you must have been flying up to here …!" Michael says and stop in the middle of the sentence, when he recognizes it is Julie. His face turns a bit into red and the quick movement he does to wear on the shirt let him look like a teenager who get caught by his mum doing something forbidden.

Julie needs to smile a bit about this picture . When the sound of the other car was close enough to hide the noise her car will make when starting the engine , she did this and drove forward to the house.

" Oh , it's you !" is all Michael manage to say first . " I was awaiting a friend !"

Julie smiles while answering : " I tough it must be something like this , course I'm obviously not Max. "

The car from Max comes around the corner now too. Seeing Michael talking with a young , beautiful woman surprises Max.

" Maybe this is what he calls knowing who he is ! He found a girlfriend ." Max is thinking and takes a deep breath. Somehow it feels much better this way.

Max stops and steps out of his car with a big grin in his face .

" Hey John! Now I understand why you let me wait for my stuff. Would you like to introduce me to this lovely person ." he says in an very charming way , that let Michael realize Max is thinking he and Julie are a couple .

With only the hope Julie will take the act , he lays his arm around her shoulder.

" Sure , let me introduce Julie to my best friend and boss Max." he hold her a bit tighter than necessary and pray in his mind that Julie will understand.

" Hello Max!" Julie says with a smile that would let a iceberg smelting

" I need to say sorry for snowing into Johns life and hold him back from work!"

Michael presses her hand a bit and Julie understand he is saying thank you.

After shaking hands and Max putting a lot of compliments on Julie, they step into the house. Julie can't avoid a surprised look in her face, when seeing the wall , but now she knows definitely Michael doesn't wants Max knows about he find his real identity.

" Maybe I should make some coffee for us ," Julie says , " It's a long way from LA up to here."

Max looks grateful .

" Oh yes! Great idea!" he says.

Seeing Julie going straight to the kitchen-corner, find the coffee , which normally is hard to find in this strange, like a first aid kid looking, box, Michael is storing it in, for a stranger , let him calm down.

" He is in love ! This is the meaning of find out who I am. Thank god I doesn't made this damn call." Max is thinking somehow relieved .

He follows Michael to the table , where the model stands and shimmering in the sunlight.

"Wow!" is all Max can say, because it is money what pop up in his mind now , just like Michael planed .

" It's not totally finished Max, sorry . I was a bit distracted ." Michael says and the quick sight he point in direction to Julie did the rest of the work. Max is now caught in the project .

Slowly he turns the model around . Seeing the perfect clear structured walls that also let room for the fiction of endless freedom are much to fascinating for Max , who is an architect with body and soul by his own , let him forget about the burning question that brings him up to here.

Max and Michael starts to talk about the project and if Julie wouldn't have interrupt them with bringing the coffee to them they would have been forgetting about the world around.

Michael pointing a warm smile on Julie , when she hands the cups over , saying :

" I guess I will have mine on the veranda , not to bother you while working !" she says and leave the room.

Max needs to ask now.

" John you need to tell me everything , Where the hell you find her , She is wow just wow!"

Michael feels a bit insecure with answering this question . How should he explain it in a way that Max will believe it .

" Ehm... !" he starts " As she said , she snowed in here , took a wrong turn down the hill and ends up in front of my door with her kids. "

Max looks a bit confused . " Kids?"

Michael feels the change happens inside of Max , when he mention the kids.

" Damn !" he is thinking , but with an gently voice he starts to explain:

" Yes , kids . A boy and a girl and one of them left without the favorite teddy , therefore Julie is here. " Michael biting his lips , The much more curious look of Max face tells him clearly that he shouldn't have mentioned it.

" Yes , they stud here over night and No! there was nothing until now and I'm afraid there never will be if we don't finish this and you disappears from here buddy!"

The knowing look in which , Max face changes now is exactly what Michael wants to see.

After wink at Michael and have a look trough the window to Julie , who sit there on the stairs ,

laying her head a bit back , so that the sun can reach her face fully and let her hair shimmering in this amazing tempting red what makes him sighs a bit , he grabs the blueprints and start to study them. The blueprints are a bit too big for the table so Max take them and carries them to the wall.

" Do you have some pins John? I guess we can talk better when we pin them on here." he says in direction to Michael, while holding it in front of the wall.

Michael's heart skipped a beat when Max goes this close to his secret . Quickly he grabs some pins and take the blueprints from Max saying :

" I'll do this" he goes to the wall and starts to pin them on to it.

Max goes along the wall in his back and look at all the projects that pinned on there. Some of them were very difficult and without Michael they would have gave up on them.

Than his sight falls on Michaels drawings . This drawings were always there and he never looked closer to them . Today is the first day when he fully recognizes those and looking at the last one , the one were the angel wins , the figures have real faces for the first time the picture he printed from the mysteries man starts to burn like fire in his pocket .

It's the same face the devil has …...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Thousands of miles away in Costa Rica, Linc is busy with loading some surfboards on a truck. Normally those hurricane-warnings don't bother him, but this time it could become a serious one. His neighbour, an old man living on this beach for more than 50 years, told him this one will directly hit them. So he told Sofia to take Veronica , their 1 year old daughter and visit Maricruz and Sucre in Chicago. Fortunately she followed his recommendation and leave yesterday. He promised to follow as soon as he finished with bring their stuff on a safe place. The surfboards are the last things that needs to be loaded.

" He LJ ! I need some help here . " he calls for his son , who is sitting inside the house .

"LJ he , come out here !" Linc calls again . He is a bit angry now, because the boat , that he tries to lift on the truck is much too heavy for one person.

Annoyed he throws it down and step into the house. His mood doesn't become better, when he sees LJ sitting on the kitchen table and surfs in Internet. Since he made his decision to study for structural engineer , like his uncle Michael he seems to have nothing else in his mind.

When Linc steps in LJ look at him with the gaze of an innocent Baby .

" Sorry Dad. I just forget the time a bit, because this is so beautiful. I honestly need to find this " Mysteries Genius " , who ever it is .

He turns the Notebook into Linc's direction and on the desk is Michaels house of glass.

Two weeks earlier :

When Max recognizes the face of the devil is the one of the man ,who is interested in Michael he feels somehow bad , like a cheater ,

" I need to find out what's wrong here !" he is thinking .

His first thought was , just to tell Michael about the money and the stranger , who seems to be so interested in Michael, but he just couldn't . How should he justify 6 years of knowing about Michaels identity and not telling him.

Max feels cold sweat comes on his forehead .

" Mi… Ehm… John , I need to go . I'm so sorry , I forgot that the customer will be in my office in the evening. This was the reason why I called. Can we just put all of this in my car , maybe I'll make it in time when I leave now . "

Michael is surprised , but glad at the same time that he don't need to create a story for Max .

" Sure. It's not really finished , but I guess enough for a customer do got an imagination . Sorry that I messed this up a bit. It was just so confusing . I really thought I am this Michael "

Michael says just to test if Max is still interested in his " I find out who I am!" story .

Max face shows confusion.

" Oh sorry John , almost forgot. You find out who you are ! This is great news!"

and after looking at Michaels face , which is covered in a mask of desperation and doubts :

" You are not sure anymore right? "

The whole time one thought hammering in his mind :

"What if Michael is on the right way? What if he truly find out? What if…!"

Michael interrupted his thoughts with saying :

" I know now that I was wrong Max. You just hang up too fast , so I couldn't tell you that it was a mistake . "

Michael takes the article about the fire-fighter Michael X , which he has printed out earlier, from his desk and hands it over to Max.

" I thought this could be me. I mean the burns , he was missing , he has no family who would search for him.. . !"

Michael takes a little break just to check Max reaction and he can't avoid to think that Max looks somehow relieved , when looking at the article.

" I find out later, that they find his death body. So a death end trace like all the others. "

After a short conversation with a lots of " I'm sorry ! and "Next time I'm sure !"

and so on , Max was leaving a bit too fast for Michaels taste , but no matter .

Michael now can start with his research.

When they stand at Max car for saying "Good Bye" , Michael got an idea out from nowhere.

" Max wait a minute, one more thing ! "

Max looks curious at him.

" Sure! What is it John? I'll see what I can do."

Michael put the , I'm innocent and desperate look in his face.

" Max , I know it is childish a bit , but this Michael sounded so familiar to me . I somehow got the feeling , this could be my real name . It would be nice if you could take care that this name comes in my passport and drivers licence and so on. Honestly Max , I had it up with this John Doe identity . Can you find out for me if it's possible to chose a name and if yes make sure that I will be named Michael … ?"

Max needs to take a deep breath. The seed of a doubt growing in the back of his head , but he answers as cool as possible ,

" Off course. I'll try . Any wishes for a last name Michael!"

" What about S.. !" the Scofield almost slipped out of Michaels mouth .

He chough a bit to play it down.

" What about Michael Hope ?"

Max look him directly in his eyes , and no matter he is a man this eyes are so magnetic and mysteries at the same time. Somehow like he would look into the last corner of your soul.

Max can't hold the sight . Fast he turns around and stepping in his car, while saying :

" OK than , See you soon Michael Hope .."

The whole time during his drive , Max has bothered his head with thoughts about Michael and how close he could be to the truth.

"He picked a Michael from all those missing persons . Could this be a random or is there a rest of memory , or why else he wants to change his name ?"

Max needs to admit to himself that there is no way to find a conclusion at the moment .

Back in his office he decides to concentrate on work and let the detective he has hired, do his work first and find out , who the devil are.

So the glasshouse find the way on his website some days later …

" You are right LJ ! This is wonderful , but son we need to focus to get out of here."

Linc says still starring at the picture on the screen .

This really could be Michaels project.

The clear lines , everything somehow functional and a piece of art at the same time.

Looking at the model he feels somehow close to his brother.

LJ sighs a bit , but he follows his Dads order .

" Ok , lets do it!" he answers while shut down the notebook.

It doesn't takes too long and the last things are placed on the truck and in LJ's car.

The a bit growing intensity of the wind shows clearly that it is high time.

A bit sad Linc look at the house.

"Michael & Linc's Surfer-Paradise " says the sign above the door .

He somehow can't leave it behind easily. The thought that it could be blown away from the hurricane is too sad .

In his thoughts Michael is on his side whenever he look at it and he feels a bit like leaving Michael behind here . He steps closer and touches the sign .

"I'll be back brother , Soon I promise!" he says quietly .

Now he is ready to go. A last prayer that everything will still be here, after the storm is gone, is sent to the sky before he start the engine , following LJ , who is already on his way to the storage 50 km away from the coast.

Linc makes one last stop, when he comes near the graveyard , where this empty grave is placed in memorial of Michael.

He crouches in front of the tombstone . His eyes wandering across the writing on it .

Beloved husband, father , brother , friend …

" Oh Michael . Why ? I would have done anything. How could you leave us this way. "

he screams into the now strong, nearly stormy air..

Alone at this place, he let the tears streaming out of his eyes , which he normally would have hold back. Deep in his heart he feels that everything will change soon.

* * *

The house in the woods looks somehow messy again . Since Julie needed to leave 3 days ago , because she got a call from her mother in law ,that Joshua is sick and needs his mum, he doesn't takes the time to clean up.

Everywhere are stakes of files and newspapers. There isn't on millimetre room at the walls anymore . All is filled with stuff that he pinned on.

The whole Michael Scofield story looking down at him from the wall , in hundreds of pictures and articles .

When Max was gone Julie and he has started to work immediately . He was so exited seeing all the stuff Heichen has collected.

" There must something be in the will help him to remember !"

the thought was so strong in his mind .

But with every piece of the puzzle, they put together, that brings nothing back, he got a bit more desperate again . Without Julie , who always pushed him forward , he would have given up the whole research already .

She somehow becomes his protecting angel in this days, the good fairy that always is there if you need her , maybe because she knows exactly how he must feel.

Michael learned a lot about her family , her kids and her missing loved husband, about the hope that he isn't dead, when they finished daily work and talked before sleeping .

He enjoyed it to watch her sleeping in the light from the last flames in the small fireplace . Often he sat there in the armchair , which is his bed while she was here , because off missing a bed for guests . Just looking at her, in peaceful sleep, time by time saying the names of her kids, let him calm down and find a bit peace in his soul.

Michael looks around. He really need to do something , but somehow he can't motivate himself anymore ,since his first real memory was so bad.

The day when Julie needs to go he felt into a restless sleep . The house feels so empty and quiet . The thought of the sick boy let him worry a lot and he starts dreaming .

At first it was Joshua , looking at him with his always a bit sad eyes , than Julie holding the boys hand , worried as hell , and he has crossed his fingers that the little boy will get well soon.

But than the pictures has changed . He has heard his own mother telling him she will shoot at Lincoln . He heard the shoot . He sees Lincoln close to die and before awake wet from sweat, he has seen his mother pointing a gun on him.

He heard himself saying :

" I'm not your son anymore! And worse he has pulled the trigger , willing to kill his mother .

The" Misfire! You are born as a Scofield, but you will die as a Burrows !"

and the pain when her pullet hits him, finally let him awake .

He has removed his shirt and there it was the scare from the shoot on his left shoulder makes pretty clear this wasn't simply a nightmare.

The next morning he tried to find out as much about his mother as possible , but this woman was a ghost somehow.

Michael starts the coffeemaker and go to the Bathroom . He takes a shower and goes back into the living room . Coffee is through when he comes back.

So he fills a cup and sit down in front of his PC , to check the latest new.

All pages telling about a very heavy hurricane that hit's Costa Rica last evening.

Thoughtless Michael clicking the pictures forward, not really focused .

On FOX –News they show a lot of destroyed houses at the former surf paradise .

Among all this chaos one house looks like not touched by the storm .

This little miracle somehow catches Michaels attention.

He looks closer .

The sign above the door is clearly to read :

" Michael & Linc's …


End file.
